საქართველო არა მარა ქართველი აგერაა
მწარე სიმართლე სამწუხაროდ
(Georgian seen by foreigner)
You Might Be a Georgian MAN if:
You know how to dance Georgian, but you only do it at weddings... after getting shit faced by alcohol.
You think that Georgia is the greatest country...even after you realize that you have not had electric power and natural gas for years...
You believe in democracy and free elections but Shevardnadze has been in charge of the country for more than 30 years...
When frustrated you say "chemi deda mov***n" ( Fuck my moth.)
When happy you say "waa chemi deda mov***n"
When sad you say "au chemi deda mov***n"
You have at least one relative who works, or used to work, in Georgian Parliament or Government.
You exhibit fanatical devotion to European soccer teams, because Georgian soccer team can not score a shit against anyone!
You drink like there is no tomorrow and your blood alcohol level stays stable above 0.08%
You were black shoes and pants when you go to the beach.
You think black leather jacket is the most fashionable to wear.
You eat whether you are hungry or not, eating is your family tradition.
You think non-Georgian men look all gay.
Your belly is twice bigger than a pregnant womens stomach.
Your family owns a 50-year-old bottle of Georgian Brandy which is strong enough to remove oil stains from a shag carpet.
You do not excersice but you play "Joker" or "Nardi".
You try to drink wine from Kakhteti and Chacha from Kakheti claiming that it will "put hair on your chest" (even if you're a female!).
At least half of the men in your family are morbidly obese.
You can outdrink all of your friends.
You know the difference between Svans, Guruls and Mingrelians, and you think they're all inferior to the part of Georgia you come from, despite the numerous glaring similarities
You are inclined to blame all the Georgia's ills on Russians, masons or whoever.
Your childhood hero that you've admired is either a gangster or a "Vor V Zakone".
You're either completely overdressed or completely underdressed for every occasion.
Your idea of "healthy" life is "khinkali", "chacha" and filtered cigarettes.
You as hairy as an ape and you are proud of it.
You walk into a crowd of people and you talk to them like they're your best friends in the whole world.
Your family always has an excuse to hold a big "supra" or "purmarili" - e.g., when someone dies, when someone gets married, when someone has a birthday, when someone buys a new TV, etc.
You wait at Mc Donalds for someone to come and serve you and you get angry when the menu does not have alcohol drinks in it.
You claim that women like to gossip but generally you talk too much.
You honestly believe that Georgians are the brightest, most beautiful people in the whole world.
People have trouble pronouncing your last name.
You drink your coffee black and take your liquor straight up.
You typically insist on doing simple, routine tasks in the most difficult, time-consuming manner possible.