One day, after nearly an eternity in the Garden of Eden, Adam dials up God and says; "Lord, I have a problem"
"What's the problem, Adam?" God replies.
"Lord, I know you created me and have provided for me and surrounded me with this beautiful garden and all of these wonderful animals, but I'm just not happy."
"Why is that, Adam?", comes the reply from the heavens.
"Lord, I know that you created this place for me, with all this lovely food and all of the beautiful animals, but I'm lonely." "The sheep and I do not speak the same language."
"Well Adam, in that case I have the perfect solution. I shall create a WOMAN for you"
"Forgive me, Lord, but what is a WOMAN?"
"This WOMAN will be the most intelligent, sensitive, caring and beautiful creature I have ever created. She will be so intelligent that she can figure out what you want before you want it. She will be so sensitive and caring that she will know your every mood and how to make you happy. Her beauty will rival that of the heavens and earth. She will unquestioningly care for your every need and desire. She will be the perfect companion for you." Replies the heavenly voice.
"Sounds great to me." says Adam.
"She will be great, as is with all things I create, well except for the Platypus, but Adam.........."
"Yes Lord."
"This is going to cost you."
"How much will this WOMAN cost me Lord?" Adam replies.
"She'll cost you your right arm,..... your right leg,..... an eye and an ear,... and........... your left testicle."
Adam ponders this for some time. Then with a look of deep though and concern still etched on his face Adam says, "Ehhhh, what can I get for a rib?"
Adam and Eve were standing opposite to each other when Adam got his first erection. The two watched, astonished, until Adam suddenly exclaimed, “Move aside -- I don't know how far its gonna go.”
One day in the Garden of Eden, Eve calls out to God.
"Lord, I have a problem!"
"What's the problem, Eve?"
"Lord, I know you created me and provided this beautiful garden and all of these wonderful animals and that hilarious comedic snake, but I'm just not happy."
"Why is that, Eve?" came the reply from above.
"Lord, I am lonely, and I'm sick to death of apples."
"Well, Eve, in that case, I have a solution. I shall create a man for you."
"What's a man, Lord?"
"This man will be a flawed creature, with many bad traits. He'll lie, cheat, and be vain; all in all, he'll give you a hard time. But he'll be bigger, faster, and will like to hunt and kill things. He will look silly when he's aroused, but since you've been complaining, I'll create him in such a way that he will satisfy your physical needs. He will be witless and will revel in childish things like fighting and kicking a ball about. He won't be too smart, so he'll also need your advice to think properly."
"Sounds great." says Eve, with an ironically raised eyebrow. What's the catch, Lord?"
"Well ... you can have him on one condition."
"What's that, Lord?"
"As I said, he'll be proud, arrogant, and self-admiring ... So you'll have to let him believe that I made him first. Just remember, it's our little secret...
"You know, woman to woman."
This post has been edited by Leonhart on 14 Oct 2010, 20:37 
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შავი იუმორის კუთხე, for sickfucks
