- Castle Salvatore – Elena’s House of Safeness -
Andrew J. Poindexter, Esq: So if you’ll just sign here, and pay roughly a billion dollars in capital gains taxes, you’ll be the proud new owner of a brand new slightly used castle!
Bonnie Bennet: Wow… so who has to clean this place?
Elena Gilbert: Oh, I’ll just tell Stefan that the dust might murder me with asthma or something, and he’ll take care of it.
* * *
Damon Salvatore: What about Katherine? You think she’s dead?
Stefan Salvatore: Sure! I mean, it’s not like Klaus would keep her alive for two or three centuries just to torture her, would he?
Damon Salvatore: …
* * *
- Castle Salvatore – Damon-Proof Doorway -
Elena Gilbert: Hi guys! How’s it going?
Stefan and Damon Salvatore: …
Elena Gilbert: Oh, right! Stefan, come on in!
Damon Salvatore: …
Elena Gilbert: Oh, yeah! So Damon, if I invite you in, do you promise to do whatever I say, and stop telling lies, and stop eating people, and stop hiding Stefan’s hair gel?
Damon Salvatore: No, but I will watch you while sleep. And possibly shower.
Elena Gilbert: Good enough! Come on in!
Bonnie Bennet: Okay Elena, ready for school?
Stefan Salvatore: Really? You haven’t been to school in six months, and now that Klaus is in town and all sacrifice-ey, you want to go out in public?
Bonnie Bennet: I’m a witch! I can protect Elena with my brain!
Stefan Salvatore: …I’ll get my books.
* * *
- Alaric’s House of Body Snatchers -
Klaularic: Well, I need to go murder a witch, and that means I need some vintage clothing. Like a tie-dye, or some bell bottoms, or… a crossbow, and a wooden stake, and wooden bullets… what the eff?
Katherine Pierce: Vampire hunter. Self-stab.
Klaularic: Neat. So Maddox, care to immolate a witch-bitch for me?
Maddox: No way dude… she’ll sense me coming a mile away. But , you could use the fact that she implicitly trusts you get her alone, and then cut her throat with the giant folding knife you carry around.
Katherine Pierce: Self-stab. Yes, take the knife. Please. Self-stab.
Klaularic: Or , I could engage in a risky-yet-brilliant gambit, attacking her in order to provoke her into using enough magic to kill herself!
Maddox: Jesus, it’s always the hard way with you. Fine, I’ll go prep the “prevent the boss from murdering himself with his idiot plan” spell. Again. goddamn vampires.
Katherine Pierce: Self-stab.
* * *
ეს ყველაზე მაგარი
- Mystic Falls High School – Only Open for Dances and Funerals -
Klaularic: Hey there… kid! Would you like to kick Jeremy’s ass for me?
Chad from Third Period: Boy would I!
Klaularic: I mean, I can compel…
Chad from Third Period: No, that’s cool. Kid’s a douche.
Chad’s Friends: We’ll help!
Klaularic: …I kind of like this place!
· 
ვამპირის დღიურები/The Vampire Diaries - Vol 5, CATCH VD
