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The Almost Comeback
Posted by: Gilbert Arenas
It started the week before, during the Orlando-Miami trip. I was planning on playing that trip, but we pushed it back a little. So, me and the trainer decided to work out that trip and see how I felt that Sunday against Detroit.
We just wanted to put a timeframe in our mind and instead of keep giving out dates, we just thought that if we were ready by Detroit, then, OK, time to come back.
So we pushed it hard all those days of practicing and coming in early, trying to get in shape and then on Saturday night we went to the Ritz Carlton to get a workout in because we couldn’t get in the gym in the Verizon Center because they had the NCAA tournament there.
Duke was getting smashed on and we couldn’t get into the practice facility because it was being used as a media work room so everybody could write about how Duke was getting smashed on.
Anyway, we went to the Ritz to go work out. It felt good. I worked out, I got a little cardio in, got some shots up and then I told the trainer, “I’m thinking about going tomorrow.” The trainer said, “OK.” So, that night I’m going to sleep thinking, “OK!”
I told the trainer to tell Eddie that I didn’t want to start and just wanted to play 20 minutes.
So he said, “OK, will do.”
“Cool!”
Everything was in motion.
The next day I went to shoot around in the morning and went a little hard in shoot around. Usually I don’t really do much during shoot around, I leave the intense stuff for A.D., but this time I wanted to get a little rhythm.
After shoot around I asked the trainer, “Should we work out now or work out before the game to get warm?”
He said we’ll work out before the game. So I was still thinking, “OK, cool. Everything is in motion still.”
I went home and ate my pre-game lunch, got my nap in, watched a movie; you know, the whole pre-game ritual. Everything was on the up-and-up.
When I got dressed to go to the arena, I decided that since I wasn’t going to be on the bench that night, I didn’t need a suit. So I put on a nice little sweater, and the collar coming out the v-neck with the tie. I looked good. You know, at the end of the day it’s a nice little elegant outfit.
I’ve been wearing the ties and sweater look and getting kicked off the bench the last four games. They’d rather have me look European and wear a white t-shirt and an overcoat than wear a nice, put-together shirt/tie/sweater combo. They don’t want that, they allow the European look. I don’t understand it, but I had to roll with the punches because the next time I didn’t wear a sports coat on the bench it was a $10,000 fine.
I got to the game and went to the training office to start my routine. The trainer was on the phone with the doctor and I was thinking, “Isn’t the doctor going to be here in 20 minutes anyway? What’s the point in talking to him?” But I didn’t know at the time that the doctor was prepping him on what to tell me.
Since he was on the phone, I figured I’d go get my warm-up shots in so I pulled Drew Cleary, our strength coach, to help me get some shots up and get warm.
I’m in there getting warm and DeShawn was with the cheerleaders … practicing his dance routines … for his 80’s party that he’s going to throw. That was funny. I guess he has a special way he wants to come in and make his grand entrance. That’s not what you want to see on game day, but hey. He wasn’t practicing the Superman dance though, that’s another dance we’ll save in case we meet the Cavs in the playoffs.
Anyway, I got my shots up and when I was finished Drew went to work with Antawn and I made my way back to the trainer in the locker room. By the time I got there, the doctor had arrived and was with the trainer.
They were like, “Let’s go to the office down the hall.”
I was like, “Why don’t we just go to the training room? Why go down the hall when the training room is right here?”
So they were like, “Alright.”
Caron was the only other person in there so I got up on the table and they started checking my knee, telling me that the swelling is down and it looked good. He did the motion work and asked me how it felt and I said that ever since I’d been going hard on it the pain and achy-ness was going away.
He’s like, “OK, OK, OK.”
And then he says again, “Let’s go into the office.”
I’m like, “OK, let’s go.”
We get to the office down the hall and he starts talking and I should have seen it coming. I see it in movies all the time where they give the pep-up talk and then BAM. He was like, “Everything is looking good. We’re heading in the right direction. I’m very confident in the knee. All my worries are over. Right now, mentally, you should be thinking about the Eastern Conference Finals. Get your mind ready for the Eastern Conference Finals because there’s no team out there that this team in scared of and nobody wants to see a seven game series with you playing.”
So I’m lathered up thinking, “Yeah, boy! Let’s go out there and get it started!” I’m jumping out the seat, ready to go.
And here comes the curve …
“Yeah, well, you know, let’s give this thing another week or so and you know, we’ll check you back then?”
I was like, “Huh? Another week?! I was planning on playing today. My mind, my mental, is ready for right now!”
He was like, “I don’t think we should rush into this.”
I was like, “Trust me, I’m mentally ready right now.”
Him: “I don’t think you’re ready. We need to test it one more week.”
Me: “What’s one more week going to do? I don’t grow facial hair in a week! Nothing happens in a week. My knee isn’t going to get that much stronger in a week. A week!”
Him: “There’s going to be six games in nine days, I don’t want that pounding to hurt you.”
Me: “Come on, this is not what I want to hear right now.”
He starts looking at a calendar, I’m looking at a calendar, then I put my calendar away because at that point I knew I wasn’t going to convince him. It just frustrated me. All this anger was kicking in then.
That’s when I threw all my clothes out of my locker, yelling, “I don’t want it! This jersey is never going to be played in this year!” Then the media was there and I was like, “You don’t need to keep asking me when I’m going to be playing again, because I’m not playing no more this year!”
Then I stormed out.
At the end of the day, I had to go home anyway to pick up a collared shirt and a sports jacket. It’s about a 35 minute drive each way. On the way home I was listening to music and I started to calm down thinking, “Let me hurry up and get back, they’re thinking I’m going to be mad and stay home.”
Which I was mad, but I really wanted to watch the game at the end of the day.
So I came on back and got there at the end of the first period and then I waited until the period was over and went out there on the bench at the beginning of the second period.
It was just me and my car … speeding -- something that I shouldn’t be doing.
Then I got that thought that I know everybody gets once in a while, I was like, “You know, what if I just ran my car into this pole right here?”
I don’t know why I thought that, but I kept going with it.
“Then I can jump off the road into this lake and just swim … or drown. Whichever one comes first.”
It was really devastating. I was thinking, “Mannn, again?!”
But I listened to Young Jeezy’s verse in “They Know” to get me past those bad thoughts … plus, I’m sane. I’m a sane person, I wouldn’t do that to myself.
I’ve been saying that I’ve been coming back all these days and it hasn’t happened, so I might as well say I’m not coming back and they might clear me. I’m going to do a little reverse psychology on them. You know what I mean?
Me: “I ain’t gonna come back, I don’t know why we’re working out.”
Doctor: “You’re cleared!”
Me: “Haha, gotcha!”
It’s one of those things that it doesn’t work in my favor either way. I say it feels good, they say I’m not ready. I say it hurts, they say do some more rehab.
I don’t know. Maybe when we get back to D.C. I’ll play, I don’t know. But I can tell you one thing, my first game is not going to be on the road, my first game is going to be in front of the D.C. crowd.
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